Okay, so there is no such thing as the perfect child (the perfect adult does not even exist) and anyway, the concept of perfection varies greatly depending on ones perspective.
What you can have is well mannered children. Really. With no pressure or stress on you or them.
I am a proud Mama of two incredibly well mannered children, and yes, you can be a proud Mama as well.
Would it shock you to know that I have never prompted my children? As in the famous phrase "What do you say" or "What do we say?" You know the one. Always said in a borderline sing song and faux chipper voice that actually leans more towards sharp. I understand this may apply to you, please know I am not judging you or mocking. Prompts are not for me, and maybe after you read this you will decide they are not for you. I am also not Mom Shaming here. I do not believe in that. We are all doing our best, we are doing what fits with us. If you read this post and decide to stop prompts, I will be tickled, and if you don't, I am still loving you and supporting you! #TeamRoseTinted
No one likes to be put on the spot, including our little ones. If the person that you are prompting them to remember to dictate some magic phrase to gets impatient and judgy because a child, in their happiness or distraction forgot a please, thank you, or you are welcome, that's on them. Yes, I said it. Those are their bad manners, not Johnny or Suzy's. We do kind things to be kind, not to receive acknowledgement. If someone's whole world or perception of someone is shattered because they did not get their instantaneous verbal gratitude, they need to go back to the library and read some books on the following:
Let's all go read books on those subjects, I think it will help add some loveliness to our lives. Can we also please remember to be patient with other people's children? Some children are non verbal. Some children use ASL to communicate. Some are autistic.
Okay, so if I do not prompt, how did my Bunny and Fox learn their manners? How do they know what to say when? How on Earth did we get to the level that servers, librarians and strangers in the store consistently come up to us to compliment us as parents?
Kindness, and manners. That is it.
My children see me, in our daily life, using manners and being kind. I enthusiastically use these phrases:
Just as I deserve kindness and respect, so do my children, and yours, and anyone else's children. I give that kindness and respect, I use my (best) manners. Every single day. They see me being patient, loving and kind with them and with others, and that has organically become their go to behavior. They know that if someone does something for me or gives me something, that person has my sincere gratitude, and that when possible, they get verbal thanks from me. What's more is my children will hear about it after the fact. As in
"Wasn't that so nice what so and so did? It really made me feel good! They did not have to do something for us!"
We have been known to sing someone's praises for days or even months later. They know that one never forgets how a person makes them feel, be it a higher level of love, or a lower level fear based emotion.
My children are my version of perfect, from when they are model children to when they forget a thank you, to when they have a hangry meltdown. Your children are, too. I think that's important, that we embrace all of someone, child or adult. We love them.
That, to me, is good etiquette. Tolerance and Love.
Bonus Bestie Points if you can tell me what movie my post title came from ;)
Embrace your Wild & Weird. I truly mean this, Darlings.
We all have a bit of the Wild and a bit of the Weird in us.
Maybe at some point you buried yours, or lost it, worried about critics. Listen, people who criticize personality points or passions of others will always find something to criticize about, so don't even worry for a moment. Let's be our wildest and weirdest selves, together, and hope that the critics can start feeling some self love enough to join us!
I hope that you take this Monday by the Unicorn Horn and have a better than fabulous week-have a Wild & Weird week!
Share a couple of Wild and Weird things about yourself below in the comments and then I will share some of mine!